Whether it’s the end of a dating relationship or a marriage, the pain is the same.  You’re feeling alone and at a loss of what to do.

Your partner was the person you turned to for support, love, understanding and companionship and now they are gone. You are left with a great deal of pain, anger, confusion, regret, and many other emotions.

You are feeling as though you can’t function properly and may be obsessed with thoughts of the person you are no longer with.

So how do you deal with this grief and get to a place where you feel like your old self and happy again?

You can get back to a healthier, happier life through a healing process.

Coping with separation and divorceGrieving Stages After a Breakup

When a relationship ends, there are  grieving stages that follow.  At first, you may not believe what has happened and be in a state of denial. Then you may start to feel a sense of anger at the person who left. You may bargain and feel deep sadness about what could have been. As you pass through these normal stages of grief, acceptance of the situation will eventually set in over time.

It is important to allow yourself to go through your intense feelings when a relationship ends and avoid numbing the pain, even though that is exactly what your initial instincts might be.  You will want to steer away from the discomfort. You know it is unhealthy to bury your pain in  things like work, drinking, or getting into another relationship right away, which can be damaging.

Strategies to Cope

Instead, focus on healing by surrounding yourself with people who are supportive and encouraging because they will motivate you to move forward to be happy again.

Another helpful way to cope is to reflect on what can be learned from the relationship.  By focusing on things you have learned, you can be grateful for the positive aspects and have an opportunity to understand what you do and don’t want in your next relationship.

Focus on yourself and the things you love to do that maybe you couldn’t find time to do while in the relationship. Focus on these things and over time it will get easier to deal with the painful feelings you are experiencing.  Soon those painful feelings will become less and less powerful.

If you are feeling stuck in any of the stages of grief, or if you feel that you’re having difficulty processing your breakup, talking to a counsellor can really help. A counsellor can help you recognize stages of grief and assist you to clarify what positive coping strategies will be beneficial for you.  You will find it easier to avoid negative coping strategies resulting in unhealthy behaviors with a clear plan. Call one of our counsellors at 250-212-5160 and we will be happy to provide you with support.